#not just cause I accidentally nuked a portion of it and had to start over

[ladyofvoss]

FFXIV Write 2022 Prompt #1: Cross

prefix - passing from side to side; transverse. re: crossroads - “a turning point, a moment of decision”

TW: Mentions of death and injury

Disclaimer: the author is still a Sprout who is just now completing A Realm Reborn, so please refrain from posting spoilers in tags or replies if you reblog. Thank you!

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“I must admit I am curious, young Theodard. What drives you to draw sword and shield in your endeavors?”

“I fail to see how this information could be pertinent to a renowned scholar such as yourself”

“Humor an old man, my boy”

“...........I have a family. Nieces and nephews. I hope that my efforts might secure a brighter future for them”

“Truly?”

“Yes. Forgive me. I suppose it is not as altruistic as fighting ‘for the good of the realm’ “

“It is far more noble than you think. Such aspirations, if a man were to be honest with himself, are what he will remember should all else fail him.

“I shall endeavor to remember then, Master Louisoix”

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Where was he?

Traders alive and Twelve forfend, where was he?

He felt neither warm nor cold. His skin prickled with the sensation, or rather the lack thereof. The feeling of weightlessness was equally alarming. He would have thought himself falling, but there was no feeling of air whistling past his ears, nor the drop in his gut that would come with plummeting towards one’s doom. No, it was almost as if he was.....floating.

Then there was the matter of the pitch blackness. He couldn���t see his own hand, let alone any of his surroundings.

He had to keep his wits about him, assess his circumstances, and plan his next course of action. But first he needed to figure out just where in the seven hells was he?

Think, Theodard, think, he chided himself. Think back to where you were last, to what was happening around you. Try to remember how you got here-

Cartenau.

The ringing of steel. The acrid smell of aether in the air. The blood red sky as Dalamund loomed ever closer-

Until it burst.

The moon. Burst. And what followed was a roar so loud and terrible it rivaled the thundering that came with the worst of Thanalan's summer storms.

Was he dead? Was that it? Had the flames that were devouring Cartenau finally claimed him? No, that couldn't be it. Surely he'd be standing before Nald'Thal and their grand scales, his life weighed under the Traders' watchful eyes. Surely he wouldn't feel quite so lucid, if he had departed his corporeal form.

Then what was he doing here? What force could have possibly pulled him into this strange world that felt devoid of both time and space?

That's when he heard it.

Help!

That voice. His blood ran cold with recognition.

Help me!

The panic he tried to stave off came crashing forward in full force as his memories came rushing back.

He was standing on the plains of Cartenau as the world burned around him, and that was when he heard it. Heard her. Gods be good, the girl couldn't have been foolish enough to follow him here when he gave her a strict directive not to?

"Thalia!" He called, relieved that at least his voice still worked in this strange purgatory. "Thalia!"

Whatever his original prerogative was would have to wait. He'd have to find her, and then, then they could find their way out.

-----------------------

Whatever he was expecting, the colossal, sentient crystal that often spoke to him in his dreams was not on his list.

Her voice wrapped around him like a caress, like a warm breeze in Thanalan’s twilight. 

“Thou art drawn elsewhere, Bringer of Light. Thy notice lies not on what has been laid before thee”

And she was correct in her assessment. Though he was always struck with a sense of awe, whenever he held the sheer magnitude of her size, and the ancient power that seemed to radiate from her, his unease monopolized his attention.

“Forgive me, Mother Crystal. I find myself greatly vexed. I know not where I am, nor how I came to be here”

“Thy once stood on the plains of Cartenau”, was her answer after a pause. “Engaged in conflict with thine Imperial counterparts. Twas then that the lesser moon completed its descent. The great dreadwrym rose from within, laying waste to all in his path”

Theodard swallowed his irritation as the Mother Crystal seemed to repeat what he already knew. Fighting the Empire, Bahamut’s rampage. The land around him being lit aflame. 

“So I am dead then” he surmised. Perhaps this was simply the fate of all of Hydaelyn's chosen, to spend eternity in her company.

“Nay”, came her response then, cutting through his thoughts, and Theodard could not hide his surprise. He wasn't dead? Then that left him right back where he started, pondering the banality of his circumstances.

As if sensing his confusion, Hydaelyn spoke again.

“Thy would have been lost amidst the flames, if not for the intervention of the great archmage. What power he had was summoned to propel thou and many others forward. With this action, he means to send you to an era beyond the dreadwrym's destruction”

Archmage? Louisoux then, Theodard deduced. Whatever miracle he had managed to pull off had saved him, as Hydaelyn had stated. But what could she have possibly meant with the rest of her explanation? An era beyond the dreadwrym’s destruction? Surely….it was impossible….

“Yet thy soul has been unable to complete this journey. For there is something that binds thee here. Thy desire is divided, a part of thy soul yearns to remain”

Yearns to remain. Twould be putting it mildly. Theodard could not very well ‘go beyond’ while still wondering at the fate of young Thalia.

“Mother Crystal, I wonder at the fate of my kin. I have reason to believe”, he swallowed, fearing what answer awaited him. “That she may be in peril”.

The silence that followed did little to assuage his dread. He wavered between yearning for Hydaelyn to give him his answer, and confirmed what he feared he already knew, and the desire to spare him and remain silent. 

It seemed that she chose the former.

The streams of aether surrounding the Mother Crystal bent and shimmered as it condensed into a small shape a few yalms before him. It glowed and stretched, assuming the familiar form of-

“Thalia!”

And there she was, lying prone in front of him. It was the lack of movement that had him immediately close the distance, dropping to his knees and gathering her in his arms.

His blood ran cold in alarm once he got a good look at her. There was no ruddiness to her brown skin. In fact, she was enveloped in a dim blue light, nearly gossamer in her appearance. Her body was light as a handful of feathers and he could barely feel the weight of her in his arms. Hydaelyn’s ethereal voice cut through his dismay.

“The destruction of Dalamund has claimed countless lives across the realm. Thy kin is among them, struck down near the southern shores. Her spirit shall soon depart the corporeal”

Theodard felt the bile rise in his throat. “She’s...” he choked out, “she’s dying?”

“With thy gift, thou hast felt the agony that weigheth heavy on her soul. In her suffering, her soul hast called out for relief, and with thy gift, thou seemed inclined to answer”

She was dying and, unknowingly, reached out for help, a sense of desperation evident in her soul to end whatever it was she was enduring. Drawing a shuddering breath, Theodard looked to the girl cradled in his arms. Eyes closed, the rise and fall of her chest so minute it was barely perceptible, and still. So impossibly still.

His heart ached for his poor niece. What could have possibly happened to her while he was away? He couldn't imagine the pain she was feeling, how terrified she must have been, for it to be so palpable that her soul called out to him for help?

 “Thy heart is heavy. Thy countenance grim. But fret not my child. Though she suffers now, soon, she will be at peace”

He couldn't help the surge of irrational anger that welled up within him. Fret not? Fret not? His family was dying, her fading soul lying limp in his arms, and there was nothing he could do about it. Thalia was barely 20 summers old, and he had to accept her future being so violently cut short? He had to take comfort in that? 

No. No he would not, could not, accept this.

“She cannot die. Not like this. Please, Hydaelyn”

“The seeds of discord, sown by the harbingers of chaos, give way to many tragedies. Many have been lost”

If he didn't know any better, he would think Her words born of cruel indifference.

“Is there truly nothing that can be done for her?”, Theodard pleaded, his voice rough with desperation. “You have brought her soul here for me to see. Can you not reunite it with her corporeal form, heal her beyond whatever ailment is threatening her life? Surely that is within your power.”

“What was within mine capabilities is no longer. As the eons have passed, my power waxeth and wanes. The light grows dim, and what thou hast stated, is beyond me”

No, he thought, his mind reeling with panic. This could not be it. He did not fight in one battle after another for well over twenty summers, only for one of the very things he was trying to protect to be lost to him.

He had been there when each and every one of his nieces and nephews were born. Held them in his arms and looked into their wide eyes as they took in the bright, new world around them. 

He greedily solicited their giggles, slayed the monsters that hid in the shadows under their beds and in the corners of their rooms, played the part of their accomplice when they wanted to hide away from the dreary slog of their lessons. He helped raise these children.

He had no desire to take a wife, nor sire children, yet he knew that seeing his nieces and nephews grow, taking joy in their happiness, was the closest thing he would experience to fatherhood.

It could not end like this. He wouldn't let it. He would give his own life if he had to-

Wait.

Perhaps….perhaps that was it.

“And what of my power? What of the gift I have? Can it not be passed to her? A life for a life. What grace has been granted to me, let it be hers. Please”

“Thy duty is not yet fulfilled, Bringer of Light. Even now, our adversaries continue to conspire. Through great power and sacrifice, thou hast been beckoned to continue on thy path.  The star ever has need of a champion and can ill afford to lose even one. If thou are to prevent further tragedy, prithee let her go, and choose the way forward.”

This time the anger came back stronger. What justice was there in that? His life would be spared, saved by a miracle, simply because the world had need of him? Yet his niece would be lost, her life unable to be traded for his simply because the world had no use for her?

He would not deny the depth of Louisoux's sacrifice, but his conscience gnawed at him, reeling at the thought of leaving Thalia behind.

How could he possibly face his sister again if he did? How could he look Seliene in the eye and tell him that he had the opportunity to save her daughter, only to let it slip through his fingers?

He had to try. Whatever it took.

And may the Twelve, and Thalia, forgive him for what he was about to do.

“What if she were to take my place?” A part of his mind screamed at the madness of it all, but he forced himself to continue. “What if she were to bear the Light in my stead? If Eorzea has need of a champion, then they shall have it. I have fought my battles for many summers. If this is to be my last then so be it”

He knew he was practically begging, the desperation in his voice bordering on hysterical. For all he knew Hydaelyn grew silent, retreating into herself and growing deaf to his pleas. But he could not stop now.

“You care for the future of this world, as I do. What future awaits us if we abandon those who will inherit it? What are we fighting for if not for those like her, the ones who will live beyond us? Grant her my power. I give you my life and more. I cannot abandon her to oblivion. Let her take up sword and shield for Eorzea in my stead. I only ask that you let her live.”

If she did not heed him. If she rejected this petition, he did not think he could bear it.

“I beg of you, hear my plea. A life for a life. My future for hers”

The silence that followed was agonizing. It pressed upon him, as if threatening to suffocate. Perhaps only moments passed, but it felt like bells, moons, eons. 

Let this be enough. Let his plea be heard. And even if it wasn't, he would spend an eternity in this strange purgatory, bending Hydaelyn's ear until she finally hearkened unto him.

But then, gods be praised, she spoke.

“Child of Light, if this is truly thy wish, then it shall be granted.” 

His heart nearly leapt from his throat at the words. Had she truly-?

“Thy spirits shall be bonded. Thy strength and gifts shall be hers. Thy light will be lent to her radiance. I have heard thy plea and shall grant unto thee this succor. Here thou mayest remain, forever bonded to her fate, a guiding hand as she walks her path. So shall be this boon I give you.”

The relief he felt was so poignant he could weep. She could be saved, she would be saved. 

“Thank you”, he breathed, and this time he was weeping. “Thank you”

The aether began to shimmer around them once more. Looking down, he could see the light surrounding Thalia grow brighter, and feel her grow more solid and heavy in his arms. Subsequently, his awareness of his own body became more and more muted. His skin tingled with the sensation, as if he were the gossamer strands of a spider web, slowly being pulled apart. 

It would have been alarming, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Thalia would live. That was all that mattered.

He cradled her close, though she was far too big for it, no longer the little girl that would eagerly cling to his leg at times.

“Give my love to your mother”, he murmured against the now warm skin of her forehead. “Give my love to our family…..and forgive me. I pray one day you'll understand, little cub”. He did not know if she could hear him, or if she was even aware of what was happening, but a part of him hoped she did. 

And as he knelt with her in his arms, his light fading as hers strengthened, Hydaelyn’s voice rang out once more:

“By my power. By thy will. By our hand. Let it be finished.”

[flutteringphalanges]

Summary:  Chloe and Lucifer are survivors in a post apocalyptic world trying to make it through life step by step. (The cause is not biblical, but still falls in the canonical universe of the show.)

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter and the little goodies within it! Comments are greatly loved and appreciated!

                                              Chapter Four

When Chloe awoke the next morning, for a few precious moments, the detective had completely forgotten everything that had happened. Cheek pressed against Lucifer's chest, the fabric of his shirt soothing against her skin, she had thought that perhaps she'd fallen asleep accidentally in his penthouse. It wouldn't be the first time. But the smile that had crossed her features soon fell away when reality hit her. No Lux. No studio. Just an endless forest.

"Lucifer," she mumbled, voice still thick with exhaustion. "Wake up."

She pulled away from his chest, leaving a damp mark from where her face had gathered sweat. The devil groaned, mindlessly swatting at gnats as her blinked back sleep. Turning her attention to her surroundings, Chloe noted that both Charlie, Ruth, and Kate had already woken up. When Charlie began to poke Nate, who somehow had managed to remain asleep, with a stick, Ruth threw him a dark look before trying her own hand at getting him to regain consciousness.

"It's bloody hotter than Hell out here," Lucifer spoke, drawing his partner's attention back to him. "And I should know, I ran the place for eons."

"Maybe if you forwent the suit…" Chloe suggested with a small smile.

"Never!" Lucifer said appalled. "I'd rather be burned to cinders!"

Breakfast consisted of chocolate chip granola bars and water-what little they had left. Surprisingly, Lucifer did not utter a peep of complaint as he consumed his portion of the meal, much to Chloe's astonishment. It was only when Kate withdrew the map from the safety of her pack that a real conversation began to stir amongst the survivors.

"It's been over twenty four hours now," Ruth began. "Maybe the cell phone towers are working. This isn't the 50's. By now the government has to have perfected nuclear safety plans. Isn't there a chance that we could find somewhere with some sort of communication and figure things out?"

"Just because plans are set in place doesn't mean that we are prepared for the unexpected," Kate answered. "We always fear the worse, but fearing isn't exactly the same as knowing. If the United States really, truly expected that we'd be nuked, none of us would be standing here in confusion and terror now."

"Or they did know and just didn't give a shit about warning us," Nate countered. "Fuck authority!"

"Hey!" Lucifer snarled. "Shall I jog your memory that you are in the presence of two LAPD detectives?!"

"As I said," the younger man glared, a mocking smile crossing his features. "Fuck. Authority."

Chloe reached and grabbed Lucifer by the arm before the man had a chance to step forward. When he turned, she looked at him hard, trying to convey an 'it's not worth it' expression. There was a pause before the devil huffed, shoulders slumping in defeat. After being thrown into a car, Chloe was still uncertain as to why Nate continued to push her partner's buttons. While she desired nothing more than to sucker punch the guy herself, now wasn't the time to start another conflict.

"We're all doomed anyway, right?" Nate continued, his smile far from humorous. "From the radiation? I'm surprised we aren't yet fluorescent green."

Everyone looked at one another, seeming to really take in the young man's point. Had they been infected-or rather absorbed whatever had been in the bombs? None of them had displayed any symptoms of radiation poisoning. In fact, besides being hungry, tired, and dirty, they looked relatively the same from the prior day. That had to count for something.

"We should keep moving," Charlie said, breaking the silence. "If we're fine, we aren't going to stay that way if we don't go on. " He patted Ruth's shoulder gently, trying to reassure her. "C'mon, you've always said I need to get out and walk more."

Ruth gave her husband a small smile, taking a hold of his hand when he offered it. As they began to walk, Chloe couldn't help but look at the two and think of her relationship with Dan. How they had rushed into things. If it hadn't been for Trixie, maybe they'd have split up a lot sooner. But watching the older couple confirmed one thing for sure, even in an alternate universe, she and Dan could've never worked. Not like that.

"Detective?"

Chloe found herself tugged back into reality by the concerned tone of her partner. She blinked, turning her head to see that Lucifer was gazing at her worriedly. Sometimes she didn't realize how easily she could blank out.

"Are you quite alright?" There was a hint of hesitation as he spoke. "You seem...very pensive."

"I'm fine," she assured him. "My mind's just wandering." When he didn't look convinced, she forced what she hoped resembled a reassuring smile. "I should really pay attention more before I trip over something and fall."

"That might be a wise decision," he smiled, seeming to ease at her joke. "It's hot enough without having to give you a piggyback ride for a twisted ankle."

"Oh, so that's on the table then?" She couldn't help but grin.

"Not exactly the definition of 'riding bareback' I'd prefer," he smirked. "But you take what you can get."

The detective rolled her eyes, lightly shoving him in a playful manner. When he gave her a wink, she hoped the dirt smudged across her face hid her blushing. As they continued to walk, Charlie and Ruth still hand in hand, Chloe's thoughts of her life with Dan began to diminish. Now when she looked on, she thought of someone else. And though Chloe tried to push it from her mind, she couldn't help but think of Lucifer. It was an idea so silly that it truly felt right.

Chloe was six when her Great Uncle Matthew had a heart attack right in the living room during her sixth birthday party. At the time, she didn't realize how severe the situation was. As he lay on the floor, clutching his chest while struggling for air, she could only look on in confusion before her mother rushed her into another room.

Chloe Decker had never had a heart attack. But the feeling that hit her when she watched Lucifer tumble off the cliff must've felt close.

"No," the word sounded hoarse as her lungs began to once again suck in air. "No, no, no...No! Lucifer!"

She got down on her hands and knees, scrambling over to look down the steep slope. Ignoring the pain caused by the small, sharp rocks cutting into both palms, her eyes scanned the ground below in desperation. It was hard to see through the brambles that sat scattered across the landscape. Then suddenly, way below, sprawled out in a spread eagle fashion, she could just make out a body. Lucifer. And he wasn't moving.

"Lucifer!"

Chloe was already sliding down before she realized it, heels dug into the earth to keep from losing control. Every second that went by seemed like an eternity. If she hadn't been so focused, she might've feared that her heart would give out from how heavy it was pounding against her chest. When she got to the bottom, her legs nearly gave way under her as she shakily lunged to the still form of her partner.

"Oh god," her voice shook as she knelt over him. "No, no. Please. No!"

If it hadn't been for the deep cut above his eyebrow and the mud smeared across his now torn clothes, he might've given off the impression of being asleep. But he wasn't. Chloe's hands shook as reached forward, touching his face gingerly. No reaction. Not even a hint. A lump was already forming in her throat as she went to rest her ear of his heart. He had to be breathing. He had to be okay.

"Lucifer," her voice was thick with emotion. "Don't do this...Don't…"

Tears streamed down Chloe's cheeks as she rested her ear against his chest. It didn't help that her heart was pounding so loud, that it nearly prevented her from hearing anything at all. He couldn't be gone. He couldn't leave her. Not like this. Not when…

"Oh Lucifer…" she whispered.

"...Yes?"

At first, Chloe didn't register what she had just heard. Then, lifting her head up, to her astonishment and utter relief, Lucifer stared back at her. A very much alive and very, very much amused by her reaction to his near death Lucifer. Before he had another chance to speak, Chloe's hand smacked him hard across the face.

"Ouch! What the bloody hell was that for?" He asked in disbelief, rubbing his stinging cheek.

"You asshole," she snapped, voice wavering between anger and relief. "I thought you were dead and you had the balls to act like it?!"

"Now I'm seeing that wasn't the brightest idea," Lucifer mumbled, still nursing side of his face. "But I am touched to see you cared."

"Christ, Lucifer," Chloe breathed, feeling weak as her adrenaline began dissipate. "I thought you were dead! Don't DO that! I don't know what I'd do if I'd lost you." She wiped away vigorously at the tears falling down her cheeks. "For a moment, I really thought…"

Lucifer's arms were around her before the first sob escaped from her mouth. She felt like a child again, clinging to her father after something bad happened. Tears streaming down her face, nose running, movies made crying look so pretty, not messy and ugly like hers. The sound of rain and the feeling of Lucifer's worn shirt pulled Chloe back to the present. When she met Lucifer's gaze, no longer did he seem amused. No, he looked guilty.

"I'm sorry, Chloe," he said, using her first name like he always seemed to do when serious. "I didn't really think about how me being a bloody idiot would affect you."

"No," she sniffed, rubbing her nose on the back of her hand. "You didn't. But that's why I lo…" Chloe caught herself. "That's what makes you my Lucifer." Finally smiling, her eyes flickered upwards, the rain, though cold, feeling pleasant on her face. "We should probably get going."

"About that," Lucifer interjected hesitantly. "My ankle may or may not be broken." When noticing the horror in her face, he quickly added. "Or sprained. Yes. More likely sprained. But I can walk!"

Before Chloe could stop him, Lucifer attempted to force himself into a standing position. The second pressure was applied to his left ankle, he let out a pained yelp and sunk back down to the ground in defeat.

"It's not that bad," he panted, clearly in pain. "I can manage. Really, I can. I've been through worse."

"You're not walking. Not like that." Chloe paused, thinking for a moment. "You heal when I'm not close." She ignored the look of concern growing on his face as he began to register what she was about to suggested. "It'll take weeks, maybe longer, before you're healed enough to even attempt walking normal."

"Detective, if you are about to suggest what I think you are," Lucifer started.

"The only way you are going to get better is if I get far enough away from you to heal." She held up her hand as he began to protest. "Look, it can't be that far right? I'll just go a little ways out and your ankle will fix itself in no time."

"You're not going out there alone," he countered. "I'd rather be drawn and quartered than for you to do that."

"We don't have much of a choice," she stated, taking note of a relatively dry area. "You don't like it. I don't like it. But it's our only option." Lucifer gave her a look of displeasure as she wrapped on arm around him. "C'mon, think you can manage to make it over here? So you are at least out of the rain."

"I'm not a baby," he muttered.

"Sometimes I wonder," she shot him a grin. When he didn't return the expression, Chloe sighed. "I'll be fine, I promise."

After some careful maneuvering, Chloe managed to get Lucifer to where he wasn't being pelted by rain. If she were honest, she felt just the same about him as he did her. But it was for the good of the group. For the good of him. Inhaling deeply, she looked towards the heavy woods before her. It couldn't be too terribly long of a walk, could it?

"I'll be back," she attempted to assure him. "And if something happens, I'll scream."

"NOT funny," Lucifer growled, before softening some. "But I suppose I deserved that one."

"At least that one," Chloe smiled, giving him one last look before turning towards the trees. "I best be off, I guess. Have fun healing." She tried to sound cheerful, hoping that it would somehow make everything okay. "Don't do anything stupid."

Without giving herself a chance to change her mind, Chloe began to walk away from her injured partner. She should be lucky, at least that's what she told herself. Most people can't just magically-or in Lucifer's case, "biblically"-heal like that. Yet, every step away from him felt so wrong. Was this the best choice?

"Detective!"

Chloe turned around, seeing Lucifer watching her like a hawk from his spot.

"Be careful, please," he urged. "I don't want...If you…"

"I know," she smiled. "I'll be alright. I always am."

As she disappeared from his sight, Lucifer let out a long, withheld exhale.

"That's why I worry..."